072748: the creative finds a MUSE

muses are dangerous. muses inspire the creative to forego all doubt and fear and inhibition, and allow the art to be born. they do this often without ever knowing that they are the impetus behind a creation.
muses bring out the purest essence of human emotion. so when in love, an artist feels complete love. transformative love. the kind of love that makes all the yellows brighter and the golds more vibrant. the kind of love that will make you pick up new mediums and try new techniques.
the muse, as it is wont to do, can also cause the artist great pain. in the same way they make the yellows brighter, they can also make the blues sorrowful, and the whites, no matter how brilliant, a seemingly inescapable abyss of melancholy and darkness.
i've only had a few muses in life. but i have a new one. and she's dope. this is new shit. a type of inspiration i've never had before as a creative. this one is electric and calming at the same time. this one had me pick up cans of spray paint and, one clear summer night, write my love in color.
it's important to mention that inspiration can be sparked by anything or anyone. but a muse, by definition is the source of inspiration, like a body of water. that's what my partner Tiffany does for me. she is a source of inspiration. i create listening to music she likes. i focus my intention on her and beautiful things happen.
before now, using the largest canvas i've ever painted, with a medium i'm still learning (spray paint and i are becoming fast friends) would've made me sweat with anxiety, but because i wanted her to see this thing clearly and be able to look at it from any angle and know exactly what she means to me, i went for it.
having a muse is like that moment when you breathe into a pose in yoga. the way the breath encourages the body to do the thing. to get there. and the leg stretches a bit more. the foot anchors. the arm seems to grow an inch. the spine elongates. and it doesn't hurt. it almost feels like a release. like it was just the thing you needed. it's not just the accomplishment of finally getting the pose "right", it's about the journey, wondering when you'll get it. when your body will allow itself the freedom to move through all you've been through and find new power and strength.
that's how i felt painting this piece. and it was only heightened when the muse saw the thing she inspired.
she stared at it for a while. i don't think she fully understands how much she inspires me. i don't think she gets that when i think of her, there has to be some expression of the thing i don't have words for. that feeling of having moved through so much to get to a point where i could find new power and strength. all because she decided to say hi. and chooses me every day.
i have found my muse. and now i am dangerous. because i am fearless. i am motivated by something bigger than love.

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